I have been given what appears to be the most accurate diagnosis to date. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) co-morbid with Bipolar Disorder II.
That’s a lot to deal with right thar. However, knowing what a problem is gives one the ability to plan for challenges and opportunities that may arise.
My personal goals for the week, as defined by Therapist, are simple.
DON’T MARINATE ON THIS CRAP!!!
That is, admittedly, a very difficult assignment.
The other assignment:
GIVE BRIDE HER SPACE
Sister put things pretty well, “You’re in a panic over things and have been for months. That creates an environment in which you cannot think cleat and you end up making poor decisions.”
I hadn’t realized I had been panicking for months. I see it now though.
I had been convinced that My Bride was leaving me. Being terrified of abandonment is A#1 on my list of fears. The more she rejected me (spend time with me…) the more panic was created.
I have been in a panic snowball for more than 4 months.
This separation is actually a godsend! It sucks, but we needed it.
It has become time for me to let that snowball melt off and relax. I just pray she is able to see this for what it has been and can allow herself to be close to me again.