Why 12 Step Will NOT Work For Me

Recovery Group Formula
• Sit around table
• Introduce yourself!
• Give name to your disease and how long you’ve been in recovery from it.
• Go round the table taking turns reading from the holy book of recovery literature.
• Get current- take NO MORE than 5 minutes to tell what’s going on in your life.
• When your turn is over DON’T YOU DARE SAY A WORD!!

Recovery Group Rules
1. Use only I or Me statements.
2. Try and speak in general terms, being too explicit may trigger another member.
3. There will be NO CROSSTALK!!!!! We are here to support each other, not fix each other.
4. Confidentiality is the core to our group. What is said here, stays here.

Why It’s Bull Ca-Ca
•Nobody cares.
• They are there for one reasons and one reason alone: themselves.
• There are MAYBE 10% of the attendees that give a damn about something other than themselves. That would be the guy running the group, maybe another old-timer and maybe another guy. There has been a time or 2 I was the concerned guy, not too many times, but it happened.
• You are not allowed to discuss anything outside of the literature.
• Discussion of what happens within the meeting is supposed to be forbidden.

How, pray tell, is one to address problems of recovery in a Recovery group that doesn’t allow discussion of actual recovery stuff?

My original therapist was insistent that I become involved in recovery groups. “You get what you need there.”
“What is it that I need there?”
“You’ll know when you get it.”

RECOVERY GROUP LOGIC according to the guy who made me go

IMG_4893.PNGMy Mindset
I’m hurting in a major way.
I am in desperate need of someone/group that can relate to me.
I need someone to talk to that has a clue about abuse, addiction, REAL recovery, this bullshit personality disorder I have. Borderline Personality Disorder is VERY real- I call it bullshit because the life I now lead is nothing BUT bullshit I dump on all others around me.

A Year Ago I was convinced porn addiction was the root of my marital problems.


Today I’m convinced it’s Borderline Personality Disorder.

Pornography Addiction is a MINOR symptom of my real problem.

Celebrate Recovery, Sexaholic’s Anonymous and any other flavor of 12 step recovery group you want to list off or recommend to me are quite simply irrelevant in my situation.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Discovery, Healing, Mental Illness, Recovery and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Why 12 Step Will NOT Work For Me

  1. Bro the addiction is just the tip of the iceberg. Its the defects…it took me a while to find the right group and meeting(s). The key was a small group of caring people who were all working to save their marriage. I went to a lot of different meetings until I found the right one. All of us are suffering from some type of personality disorder or mental illness. We are all insane.

    • MyJourney says:

      When I stopped focusing on the sexual component of my problems, that part almost vanished. There was a random temptation here or there, but that is truly the only issue. I can handle a random temptation pretty easily.

      One cannot equate a sexual issue to a personality disorder. There is no comparison. And I am not insane. Borderline Personality Disorder means emotionally unstable. What you may percieve as a stupid joke MIGHT seem as the most insulting thing ever to me. That would then take me from incredibly happy and throw me into the depths of despair. Some find that absurd, and it is. That’s how it is for those of us living with the problem.

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