The Neanderthal

Sobriety: Day 5

I have yet another day of sobriety under my belt. However, I feel like a neanderthal. Accordingly, I will explain my feelings with the correct syntax:

Not easy. Sobriety suck. No want try. Want use habit. No want think pure.

Me looking at the wife

Actually it’s been a pretty good day. We had a snow day (we’re teachers if you will recall) so we worked on the house all day. That is, we worked on the house all day AFTER we rolled out of the rack at the crack of 10.

We went shopping for stuff to clean our rugs. We took our middle, soon to be driving on his own, son along with us so he could learn how to drive on snow. I am proud to say we lived through it. We had a good time together. WE HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER!!!

We didn’t talk about sex. We didn’t talk about addiction. We didn’t talk about messy stuff. We went about town, hung out together and acted like a married couple.

It was tremendous.

I have a pretty strong feeling that we might even have a non-controversial discussion when we go to bed in a little bit.

This is downright scandalous. It hasn’t happened in weeks and I like it. I KNOW she likes it. It was nice to NOT talk about messy stuff today. Kind of like how her therapist said that it might be nice to not talk about heavy stuff once and awhile. I think she did at least. I know she said it when she was our marriage counselor. I’m sure she said it to the wife too.

Back to sobriety…

Things went great today. I will say that when we went to one of the stores, I had to focus a little. She’s going to roll her eyes when she reads this next part…and it IS a little embarrassing. On our way to check out, we walked through the lingerie department. My bride walked ahead of me. I like her to walk ahead of me. It’s a nice view. There are several times that I need that view to focus on. I see a lingerie model with my peripheral vision and I made damn sure to focus on my bride’s butt swinging oh, so seductively, side to side. What a great thing to be able to focus on. In my mind I’m constantly saying to myself, “I get to see that thing at the house. I get the benefits of that awesome thing at home. Look at that butt! That thing lives at MY house!” It’s like I channel a bunch of frat boys as I watch her.

checking out my wife

Every once and awhile she catches me looking at it. Most of the time she gets this sheepish grin. Sometimes she just rolls her eyes.

Don’t care. Get see at house. Get touch too…

The neanderthal came back for a moment…

She SAYS that it’s flattering. I hope she doesn’t find that I’m objectifying her. I don’t think I am. I’m just appreciating God’s handiwork. That handiwork happens to live with me, and sleep next to me every night. That’s an exciting thought.

So the sobriety thing was pretty easy today. I didn’t think about sex very much. I did think about her quite a bit…but I think that’s cool. I’m supposed to think about that. Sometimes.

‘Twas a good day.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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1 Response to The Neanderthal

  1. chipgruver says:

    You sure make me smile. Keep that neanderthal alive and well. The faithful walk isn’t rocket science, it’s doing the basics really well.

    And keep your eyes on your wife’s butt. You aren’t objectifying her, you are finding her to be more delightful than the thousands of nameless women you were looking at before. She is becoming a treasure to you.

    it’s the way God made us to be.


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