To say I was up and down today would be an insult to the directions. Today, I created new definitions for the words up and down.
1. Emotional state in which the participant feels there is no hope for future success.
“He heard life tell him to fuck off”
1. Emotional state in which the participant feels there is no barrier to success.
“He told negativity to fuck off”
I’m a bloody mess today. I awoke pissed off and the day went downhill from there. If you had the misfortune of being in my thoughts, you were despised and mentally/emotionally trashed. I treated you less than human.
And then I read 2 comments.
The first was referenced in this post. It was an eye opener. It totally kicked my ass into reality.
The other came shortly after.
Chip is right. Your addict is fighting the good man in you. She owes you nothing. You’re lucky she doesn’t ruin your life. She could. Be the man you fucking need to be.
Another ass-kicking comment.
Gentlemen, thank you for being real with me. I cannot thank you enough.
I spent 2 posts bad-mouthing my bride. The woman, who in spite of my sexual acting out, has chosen to stand by my side and kick the shit out of sex addiction.
Hey, asshole. Remember that lady?
She did not try and kick my ass. She did not tell. She did not cry. She took me on and said, “Cut that shit out. Get over yourself and man the hell up.”
My friend, Chip, has a way with words. The essence of his comment was:
You don’t deserve her. You’re being a dick. Stop screwing everything up.
SARecover’s comment boils down to:
You’re lucky to have this incredible woman. Stop fucking it up and man up.
Put all of that together, just before I walk into my therapist’s office (I was an asshole railing on him as well), and mix in his incredible words ….. annnnnd
ASSS KICKED BACK TO REALITY!
Those comments and experience taught me a valuable lesson today: You don’t deserve shit. Get your ass in there and work hard. You’re lucky to be where you are.
Oh, yeah. I’m sober for the 3rd straight day.