This Is Gonna Suck

We slowed down today.
I suppose I should have expected that.
We spent very little time together. The time we did spend was…ok. She had quite a few things to accomplish so the distance was expected.

We have been doing so well over the past week. It has been almost a fantasy world.

There have been a few pleasant surprises
1. I usually have some kind of sexual innuendo for everything. I think I made 1 over the last week.
2. I have not asked for sex one time. She specifically mentioned how much more relaxed she feels not having to constantly fend off my advances.
3. I have paid attention to her. A lot of attention.
4. I think I may have actually had a gentlemanly exchange with her. “When we get the new car, you get to have it.” She told me that it made her happy, that she felt taken care of; one of her main stated needs.

I have not made a conscious effort on the innuendo; it just happened.

Today is the first time in over a week that I’ve had a hard time not asking for sex.
This one has been very difficult for me for some reason.

I was lying next to her as she nestled down for a nap. As we snuggled I became…excited. We laughed it off, but it was a serious urge.

The rest of my day was spent thinking of her romantically.

I’m about to lie next to her again. This is going to be pretty tough and I’m not looking forward to it.

Any time of become…excited over the last week, I’ve felt like a complete jack-ass. I’ve told her about it too.
Why do you feel like that? You’re a normal guy.
I think not. A normal guy doesn’t have to go through therapy because he can’t keep his dong in his pants.

Here’s to keeping my cool.
Here’s to staying a gentleman.
Here’s to recovery.

Advertisements

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Recovery and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s