Tests, Scores, And A Sappy Ending

Last week I took a test, SDI-R, for The Good Doctor. It took me about 90 minutes and I split it across 2 days. When I finished, I received an automatic score followed by something like 3 sentences of explanation.

My score was shocking.

The graph stated you are considered a sex addict if you hit 6 points. I hit 14. The Good Doctor told me that guys in the 12-15 range generally find themselves in an I treatment program.

Nice

I googled it up and saw there are no inpatient centers within a 4 hour drive.

Perfect

I consulted my sister who is a LMFT. We had a pretty long talk over a myriad of topics. We are both hair pullers, Trichotillomania. It’s a form of OCD. Yay!!

We are both severely traumatized by our childhood. She has depression of some sort as well as panic attacks. My brother has the same conditions as her. I have bipolar. I’m the only one of us to be hospitalized or suicidal. Thank goodness.

Sister said there are no treatment facilities like I need in state. “Your therapist will have to refer you.”

My Known Issues
• Bipolar
• Trichotillomania
• OCD
• Sex Addiction
• Food Addiction (that’s a guess)
• Relationship Addiction

I’ve started to think I’m not just bipolar. I fit the descriptors of Borderline Personality perfectly.
• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

• Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

• Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

• Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

HOORAY!!
Shit

Here are more joyous nuggets:
Negative Emotion
Emotions spiral out of control, leading to extremes of anxiety, sadness, rage, etc.

Has extreme reactions to perceived slights or criticism (e.g. may react with rage, humiliation, etc.).

Expresses emotion in exaggerated and theatrical ways.

Emotions change rapidly and unpredictably.

Feels unhappy, depressed, or despondent.

Antagonism
Intense anger, out of proportion to the situation at hand (e.g. has rage episodes).

Often angry or hostile.

Yep, that sucks.

It’s a little disheartening when I see such a lengthy list of issues. However, It’s nice to know what I need to work on, so there is that.

Knowing what the problem is, is half of the solution.
And knowing is half the battle.