The Mountain

It’s a cold and gray day here on the mountain. There’s a slight rain that stings as the wind whips it across my face. It’s dark. I reach and grab a branch sticking out of the mountain. I pull myself up just as my foot begins to slip off. One hand over the other, climbing ever higher.

All of a sudden I see My Bride. She smiles as she stares into my eyes. Those few moments spent looking into her happy eyes motivates me to continue my climb. Another step higher. Another hand hold to grab. Her words of encouragement prods me on. I’m so tired. I pause to rest for a moment, I need to rest my arms. As I restart my climb, I slip and fall a few feet. There’s My Bride to break my fall. She picks me up and dusts me off. I’m energized by her comforting words and calming caresses. On I climb.

I cannot hear My Bride anymore. It seems that she has moved on to attend to other things. I tell myself that she has to take care of herself as well. She has her own mountain to climb. Another branch helps me pull up some more. It’s now that I’m aware of God. He is helping me up to the next level. Up I go.

As quick as He showed up, God is gone too. I am alone on my climb again. I slip again. This time I fall. I see the people who had provided encouragement pass through my mind as I tumble. I’m twisting and turning, scratching my face on the rocks. I feel bones breaking as I fall. As I land, I look up and see that I hadn’t fallen far. I had gone one step. It felt like I had gone so much further.

I grab the mountain and give it an embrace. It’s lonely out here. I’ll never leave you again. We belong together.

Advertisements

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Recovery and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Mountain

  1. chipgruver says:

    You’re not alone, my friend.

    I’ll sit on the slope with you. Maybe you’re not ready to get up. That’s OK, I’ll wait. I don’t mind. If you fall into a dark place. God put you on the mountain for a reason. He’s training you.

    Keep climbing. Call your sponsor or a friend if you are tempted. Talk it through with them. There is a lot of grace in that.

    -Chip

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s