A Map With Directions

Funny how things work out when you identify the problem. Attitudes change. Smiles erupt from faces a little more easily. If not smiles, the frown that was constant was replaced with a neutral look.

When I sent My Wife the text stating I understand the problem, I’ve been asking you to do all of the changing and it’s time for me to get off my arse and do something, there was an attitude shift.
I want to believe you was her response.

I see that as a positive answer.
It means I hit the nail on the head.
I went ahead and just asked her about it. She said I was correct. The blog comment was exactly what she had been feeling, she just couldn’t voice it.

Well hell! I’ve got something to work with now, baby! I know what to work on. I have a map AND directions.

All I have to do is stay on the road. The only problem is, I’ve never been one to stay on the road. I actually have to follow directions this time.

Lord help us all.

I’m truly excited and inspired now.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Discovery, Gratefulness, Marriage Issues, Progress, Recovery, Relationship and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Map With Directions

  1. Steph says:


    I’m very glad to see that you have found a path. I couldn’t imagine what you’re going through, I just know that I’m going through what your wife is going through. If you stop and really think about what is causing the problems in your world you will see that it’s really only 1 thing. It’s the biggest thing that can break a marriage. It’s about human flesh. Skin that we all have. It’s either younger or older comes in different shapes. When you’re truly loved by another, their is no comparison to that feeling that your wife can give you. There is no touch like hers. She is still there and she is still hoping. Some things may have gone a little dry in the relationship but you now have a focus. It’s yourself first and then your wife. She will be happy when you find happiness. She know’s all of your moods. She knows when you’re on brain overload. Being on the other side like your wife, we tend to stop talking after talking so much. We stop fighting, we stop acting like we care. But, we still do care. We still do love. It’s in our genetics to fight for something we love. We can’t fight a fantasy world because were not in there with you. We don’t look like everybody else. WE know how to love like everybody and we know how to take care of those we love. That’s what real woman do! We fight until we can’t fight any longer. We can take the toughest blows to the heart and we still get up until that finale blow knocks us into left field. We don’t know what it will be or when it could happen. It could be as simple as a napkin falling off the table when it all hits hard.
    There is a website called every mans battle that is very encouraging and has some good reading. Keep up the good work and stay focus on what you really want. I want to share something with you and this really made me stop and think about things.I actually printed this out and put it by my computer because it can fall into so many different catagories.

    Temptation is calling, lurking and waiting. Stay close to God.

    Imagine a line with God on one side and Satan on the other. The God-side involves peace, hope, truth, strength, a will to fight, a time to cry, and a time to cry out to God. Surprisingly one might also find a managed amount of temptation. (Note – God does not tempt, but God allows temptation, challenge and discipline to come near his followers.)

    The other side of the line involves sin. When you cross the line and eat that fruit, embracing sexual sin, it is outside God’s will. You are saying, “God, I do not need or want your fellowship at this moment. I am crossing the line and entering Satan’s domain. I need some Satan time. I will return when I am finished with my dance with evil.”

    There is a dilemma. Any time you dance with Satan, he extracts a price. He may provide momentary delight. However, Satan requires one to leave his presence with shame, loss of self-respect, and doubt about your relationship with the Heavenly Father. Make it your prayer today to find sufficiency in Christ. Stay close to God all day.

    This came from my guys 40 day challenge. To hear him talk about this made me smile inside. I am still guarded but I have seen a difference. I can also tell he has his battles and he knows when he’s done something wrong because I now get very quite. It’s sooooooooo hard and my heart cries very often for a cure. I’ve finally stopped crying with real tears to him. I’ve actually become very silent and focus on me now. It’s all I can do. I do stop and listen when he talks and I listen when he says he’s sorry because I feel that he really means it now. It’s not an I’m sorry because I got caught it’s an I’m sorry because I’m weak and I”m wanting to be strong. All of this stems from his child hood but and some point we all have choices to make and I hope you make the right one and realize that this could be deeper that you know. Think about the first time this started and then think about why it started. There is always a thought behind everything. Always! We all have that chatter in our head that continues to talk even when we stop talking out loud. If you listen to it now it’s answering things for you now and probably telling you a story. Tell it to be quite so you can listen to your own voice. I really wish you all the best of luck and keep fighting for what you want. You do know what it is and the reach and fix is there but it’s going to be a tough and bumpy road. Tell your wife your sorry when you do things. Tell her when you slip up because after your hear what you’re telling her that may motivate you to stop even more. The I’m sorry’s must follow with a fix and not a continuation of things.

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