Birthday, Anniversary, And Itchy, Oh My!

My birthday is July 22nd. 1 year ago I was very upset because I didn’t get my “Traditional Birthday Blow Job” as she always called it. In fact, I didn’t get so much as a how do you do. Yeah…happy birthday…hooray! and it was less than energetic.

I distinctly remember thinking something was very wrong with My Bride.

Our anniversary is August 1. We are very boring when it comes to our celebrations. Dinner, sometimes a movie, maybe some ice cream then we’ll dick around the house for awhile. She sneaks off to bed, I figure it out and join her. We lay next to one another, awkwardly, for what seems like hours, and I finally get sick of it and make a move. We have sex and go to sleep. Anytime we would have sex outside of anniversary, just take away dinner and a movie.

Last year was different. It was different because I was in pretty solid pain. I have a delightful condition known as gout and it sucks. It just so happened that I had the pleasure of experiencing a gout flare up on our anniversary. During dinner, she got to listen to me whimper anytime I so much as twitched my knee.
*** side note***
I’m not being a whiny girl about this either. Gout brings about excruciating pain.

We cut our evening short and watched a Netflix movie. By the end of the movie, the 3 Percocet I had taken began to bring a touch of the edge off the pain. In my mind that meant our standard festivities were in order. As per usual, My Bride kissed me and went to the bedroom.

•••HERE’S WHERE THINGS WENT ASTRAY•••

Standard procedure is she would go to bed and call out to me a few minutes later. Kind of like her getting herself psyched up. 10 minutes go by, then 20 and then 30. The next thing I know it’s morning.

Dude, I didn’t get laid on my anniversary.

It was then I realized something was up.

Two of the 3 days during the year you’re supposed to be guaranteed some kind of carnal delights and I was shut out.

I’ve been nervous as these dates approached. Several weeks ago My Bride was triggered and was unable to have any sexual contact. My anxiety grew and grew.

My birthday arrived. The traditional blow job was replaced by a hand job (she’s not ready for that stuff yet ). It was…ummmmm…pretty freaking awesome!
• B-day “activity”✔️
• Random “activity” last night✔️
• Still nervous over anniversary✔️

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Our youngest son is a wrestler. The mats upon which they grapple are hotbeds of sickness and infection. As such, The Boy has brought ringworm home on several occasions. Annnnnd it just so happens ringworm is HIGHLY contagious.

My Bride has a giant-assed ringworm on her cute butt cheek!

For those of you scoring at home (congratulations btw), that means I don’t get to approach the area.

Damn it.

Anyway…Things are going pretty well. We have a really good time together and crack each other up. I gotta say, I probably sound a bit dickish since I’ve been mostly writing about sex. Of course, the blog is about sex addiction. The funny thing is, very little, if any, of my day has anything to do with sex. If we have a really passionate kiss kiss longer than 10 seconds, my mind MIGHT drift off to “I’d Like To Bone Her” land. However, I think that’s standard, hard-wired male behavior.

Life is becoming sweet.