Everything Happens And Then…

November 16, 2013 Full disclosure of all sexual activity related to pornography addiction.

November 17, 2013 My Bride displays signs of shock never before seen. Why did you do this to me? Blank stares, other-worldly voice.

November 18, 2013 A week long bonding takes place. Like a second honeymoon. Unbelievable intimacy, mind blowing sex, heartwarming conversation.

November 25, 2013 Everything falls apart.

December 31, 2013 My Bride FORGIVES me of my infidelities.

January 1-4, 2014 Sexual relations

January 5, 2014 Sexual/physical relations are ended when I discover she has PTSD style flashbacks when romantically stimulated.

March 17, 2014 I have double elbow surgery. Sister-in-law moves in.

March 18-23, 2014 Daily argument.

It went downhill from there

Every weekend there was a major fight

May 6, 2014 I was told to move out.

The first night we both thought divorce was imminent. I had hope, but I thought it was a fool’s hope. Over the next 2, yes 2 days, God put some changes in my life that turned me into a new man.

During that time I…
•Forgave my parents for abusing me
•Developed a relationship with God
•Developed a relationship with me
•Accepted My Bride IS my partner
•Gave up jerking-off, dancin’ with myself, punchin’ the munchkin, playin’ pocket pool, playing with Rosie and her 5 sisters, ‘baitin, slappin’ my meat, beatin’ the monkey, lopin’ the lizard, chokin’ the chicken, whackin’ it
•Forgave myself
•Saw what’s right in my life
and many, many more hits…

My Bride took the time to slow down and relax. She got to do absolutely NOTHING and it was really good for her.

As our time apart went along, more things happened. At first, I grew incredibly strong, nothing happened for her. Then she grew and I fell totally apart. At the end, my therapist told me to think on the things that have gone right on my life. I had been looking the other way.

Everything turned on that concept.

The next week, everything started falling into place. I regained that lost strength. I gained more and more. My Bride noticed and began trusting me in leaps and bounds. By the end of the next week, the unthinkable happened.

June 5, 2014 I want you to move home.

I was cool. Well, I was as cool as I could be. I know I smiled as the tears gushed out of my eyes. The month before they were tears of sadness. These were tears of unmitigated joy.

Since that day, some cool things have been happening.

I’ve been smiling a lot
I haven’t been angry

I’ve been poking for a job in a pretty frantic way. Last week I took a class that would allow me to be a sports coach at school. I had been dropping off resumes for weeks before. I got a random email during class asking me to hook up and talk about a job. This afternoon I got a call asking me to come in for a second interview; giving me an hour and a half to get ready. When I got home from that, a principal I know (My Bride worked for him and he’s the guy who pushed me over the ledge to go to grad school) called and asked me to come chat about a job he wants to give me tomorrow. Oh, that second interview? They called at 9pm and offered the job.

I’ve gone from a wreck of a person last month to actually building self image. I’ve gone from having all confidence destroyed to some swagger returning. From being unemployed to having the possibility of 3 jobs to choose from, *2 of which I’d kill my grandmother for.

Life is an odd place to be. You never know where God is going to lead you. One thing I’ve learned over the last month and a bit- pray, listen for God and hang on. The ride can get pretty wild and exciting.

20140624-235904-86344042.jpg*I would not actually kill anyone, especially my already dead grandmother

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Gratefulness, Healing, Marriage Issues, Progress, Recovery, Relationship, Sex Addiction and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Everything Happens And Then…

  1. Amazing what God can do if we just let Him! Proud of you and just to let you know…still praying.

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