Another Piece Of Glass

We are all broken. It’s up to each one of us to find others like us, or in complimentary ways, so we can work each with each other and become something beautiful. That’s what marriage is all about. Two imperfect people coming together, working hard and struggling. If they have the guts to keep at it, the payoff is beautiful. If they bailout, they have internal pain.

My conceptualization, for my marriage, is that we have a box full of broken glass. We are constructing a masterpiece of stained-glass. Every difficult situation we come through is a new section completed. After our last 9 months, we completed a big-ass piece.

It seems I got married to escape my parents. That probably sounds really crappy, but I’m thinking that’s what drove me into proposing when I was 19. I was a very immature 19 at that. I was in deep, deep, DEEP love with My Bride, but, looking back, I was going into marriage for the wrong reason.

God, in His astonishing way, takes whatever poor decisions we take and turns them into blessings. My decision to marry wasn’t a poor one, the reasoning behind it and the timing to support it were. God took those and juggled them about and delivered 3 beautiful boys and a lot of happy memories. My Bride and I went through absurdly difficult times together. Each time becoming closer to each other.

Another piece of glass.

The years go by and bring new challenges. Our oldest is a college student now. He’s a football player, off making his own decisions as well as mistakes. It’s hard to watch him struggle.

Another piece of glass.

Our middle son will be the varsity quarterback of the football team this fall as a junior. He goes to a very large school where he can get a good deal of exposure for the next level. Sometimes it’s hard to keep from pushing too hard and letting them be kids.

Another piece of glass.

Our youngest son is the freshman quarterback at the same school his older brothers go/went to. He’s the heir apparent to his older brother. That’s not the problem. He’s JUST like his father. If you’ve read much of this blog, you realize that might be troubling to My Bride and I. We pray for their future quite a lot.

Another piece of glass.

November 16, 2013 I fully disclosed the exact nature of my sexual addiction and EVERYTHING that came along with it to My Bride. Feelings, intimacy, trust- you name it, were destroyed. She FORGAVE me on New Year’s Eve and we started building anew.

Another piece of glass.

May 6, 2014 My Bride, after months of pain and misery, finally has enough and kicks me out of the house. We both assume divorce is imminent. We decided to cool off and go with a trial separation for a month. It was the best thing we’ve ever done for our marriage. Exactly one month later I moved home.

Prior to leaving, intimacy had literally died. There had been zero romantic encounters during 2014. We had sex once, but that was it. Physical contact had ceased a few days before I left- no hugs or pecks on the cheeks. When I returned, we hugged and kissed, we caressed and played with each other’s hair. We made love!

Another piece of glass.

No matter where our marriage is, there will always be a challenge coming at us. It’s how we attack that challenge that either brings us together or drives us apart. I’m proud to say, though we had begun to drift far apart, we came back together and started building something far more beautiful than ever before.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Discovery, Healing, Recovery, Relationship and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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