I had to go see my primary doctor this morning. It was to see how things were going after he put me on Seroquel®. Here’s how that went. I took a pill at 9, I was unconscious by 9:30 and woke up the next day at 2PM. I was on that pill for 3 days before I pulled the plug.
For the past several weeks I’ve been kicking the idea of telling him about my porn addiction. I consulted some group members, they said to do it. I asked my sister the ex-therapist, she said to do it. This morning I asked My Bride, she said do it. Ok, i do it.
My doctor and I get along really well. A lot of that has to do with him being My Bride’s neighbor growing up. Our appointments usually last a half hour or longer. “Dr. that Seroquel® is terrible. Can we try Topamax®?” He agreed and was writing everything up. I had to do it now. I was really nervous, but he’s my doctor, I should be able to tell him this kind of stuff. “Hey, I’ve been thinking about telling you this for a long time.” He sat down across from me. “I have a porn addiction and have been in therapy for it since September.”
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
“I thought you might need to know in case there was a med change or anything that might be affected with that knowledge.”
‘Well there’s nothing I can do from my end. I’m glad you’re in therapy and I’ll support you in any way I can. I hope you can beat it, no pun intended.’
I instant erupted in laughter. I was actually crying I laughed do hard.
‘I am so sorry. If I could I would take that back immediately.’
That made me laugh even harder. I wiped the tears away and answered his apology.
“That was the funniest thing I’ve heard in weeks. Dude, you can’t possibly offend me with something like that,”
He was VERY happy I was cool about his joke. I guess I could have nailed him to the wall had I actually been offended. ‘I’m really glad you have a sense of humor about that. You find recovery is far easier if you can laugh about things.’
I truly believe what the doctor said. Healing/recovery is easier if you have a positive outlook on it. They say laughter is the best medicine. I’d like to believe that’s true. I’d also like to believe I took a step toward my humor coming back today.