How Does…What?

It has come to my attention that God works in mysterious ways. It took my marriage coming to the edge of destruction before I allowed Him into my life (for real anyway). It took getting kicked out of my home to understand the gravity of our situation. Now this…

Three days ago I went by the house to pick up some clothes for an interview. There the biggest thing I had experienced since leaving happened. As I was leaving, we embraced one another for a long time, tightly. There was a nice peck to end it. I left without sadness for the first time.

I had a job interview the next afternoon. Before that I had an interview for a summer job. I texted the results of the big interview (home run, I’m expecting an offer). She sent a text back saying she was proud of me, that I had begun to “man up.” That brought a smile to my face I haven’t had in some time.

Yesterday, I went by to do yard work. I felt like crap because I was unable to sleep the night before. We had a pretty long talk about everything. It seems that my relationship with My Bride began to dramatically change right then. As I was leaving we embraced one another tightly and this time there was kissing. Good kissing, with some eye gazing (big deal for me). Not the cold peck that was shared between us for such a long time. This was straight up unfettered intimacy.

I went by this morning to do more work. I was only able to stay for a short time, I had a THUMPING headache. There was a short chat and I had to split before my head imploded. As I was leaving we had another kick-ass kissing session. This time there was conscious, purposeful eye gazing. My heart was pounding and butterflies were racing through my stomach. There was no doubting what was happening. We were experiencing an intimacy that hasn’t been around for a very long time.

How does this work?
I’m living away from My Bride and suddenly there is an intimacy building. I asked her why this is happening. I don’t know.
I do know, God is working in us.

I’m starting to think My Bride is developing a new trust and respect for me. If there are words in the English language that can express my feelings, I don’t know what they are. Suffice it to say I’m quite pleased.

2 weeks ago I thought my life was over. The one thing I held dear in life was dying. I was convinced that when I was moving out I would never return. That was wrong.

My marriage is not the most important thing in my life, God is. A relationship with God has been absent from my life, as in my entire life. It’s crazy how God works. If you make an effort, He shows up and let’s you know he’s there.

I can’t wait to see what happens when I get knock deep in a relationship with Him.

My marriage is not over, it’s just beginning.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Lesson, Progress, Recovery, Victory and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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