Meds And Not Depressing!

The following is a visual representation of what my mental state is when I wake up every day.

mental image should be

I’m pretty darned clear. There aren’t really any cobwebs, well, not any that a nice cup ‘o coffee can’t clear up.

Here is what I awoke to this morning early this afternoon.

what mental image really was

That is my second day in a row like that. It also just so happens to coincide with my second dose of Seroquel®. There are some delightful things I have noticed immediately. I do not have any thoughts about creating elaborate ways to die so My Bride can get set up with my insurance money. Also, I have found that I have an easier time dismissing negative thoughts, though that was already coming into play, that might be coincidental. I also noticed that its way harder to make me cry. For example,  the interaction My Bride and I had (very sad, I don’t want to hug because saying goodbye is too hard) would have turned me into a pile of mush just 2 days before. Those are all wonderful and welcome outcomes.

It wouldn’t be a blog post by me if there wasn’t a gripe. There seem to be a one or two accompanying side affects that are not quite as happy.

Seroquel®(quetiapine) is a psychotropic medication that is used to treat schizophrenia in adults and children who are at least 13 years old. Seroquel is also used in the treatment of major depression and bipolar disorder. Side effects of Seroquel may include mood or behavior changes, constipation, drowsiness, headache, and trouble sleeping. Older adults with dementia may have a slightly increased risk of death when taking this medication.

Call your doctor at once if you have any new or worsening symptoms such as: mood or behavior changes, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, or if you feel impulsive, irritable, agitated, hostile, aggressive, restless, hyperactive (mentally or physically), more depressed, or have thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself.

Stop using quetiapine and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:

  • very stiff (rigid) muscles, high fever, sweating, confusion, fast or uneven heartbeats, tremors;
  • feeling like you might pass out;
  • jerky muscle movements you cannot control, trouble swallowing, problems with speech;
  • tremors, or restless muscle movements in your eyes, tongue, jaw, neck, arms, or legs;
  • mask-like appearance of the face, trouble swallowing, problems with speech;
  • blurred vision, eye pain, or seeing halos around lights;
  • increased thirst and urination, excessive hunger, fruity breath odor, weakness, nausea and vomiting; or
  • fever, chills, body aches, flu symptoms, white patches or sores inside your mouth or on your lips.

Less serious side effects may include:

  • dizziness, drowsiness, tired feeling;
  • dry mouth, sore throat;
  • stomach pain, upset stomach, nausea, vomiting, constipation;
  • breast swelling or discharge;
  • missed menstrual periods; or
  • increased appetite, weight gain.

Just to clear up the record and keep everything on the up and up, I’d like to report that my breasts have not swollen nor has there been any discharge from with.

  • Dizziness- check
  • Dry Mouth- check
  • Sore Throat- check
  • Drowsiness- yeah, you could say that
  • Tired Feeling- Understatement of the year

Ne’er before has a medication put me on my arse so quickly. I stood outside my brothers apartment, enjoying the naughtiness of a cigarette, discussing the finer points of political discourse. I had taken my Seroquel® not 15 minutes before when I found myself in what could only be described as a scene straight out of What Dreams May Come.

just a guy and a dog walking in a painting...Hey…uh…Brother, I need to go to bed, now.

Somehow I trundled my way to my temporary bed, set my C-PAP machine up (I’m shocked the mask wasn’t strapped to my butt) and actually got into the bed.

I was aware of a text at around 8:15 this morning. It was from My Bride. “Call ASAP!” woke me up quickly. It had been a ride situation with Son3, but Son1 was able to handle it. Thank goodness, I may have wrought utter destruction on our fine city.

Finally, at 12:13 this afternoon, I woke up. Not naturally mind you. It was a phone call this time. My urologist (another story) was calling to schedule my CT scan on my kidneys. That call kept me up.

I’m not sure if there’s a point to this post at all. I think I just needed to write. I especially needed to write something that wasn’t depressing. I’ve got a lot of that in my life. I’m glad I was able to entertain myself for a bit 🙂

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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