Fear Of Change, Embrace It

I spoke to My Bride’s parents today. I was on that side if town and thought it would be nice to see them. I called and asked if I could see them. Father-In-Law (FIL) paused for a moment and said sure thing.

I was a bit nervous since he paused.

I arrived and was treated to the normal live and respect I have always received. BUT, my Mother-In-Law (MIL) was sobbing. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you guys. I am so sad about this.”

I explained why I was there. I just wanted to talk. “She didn’t even call us. She sent is a text saying the two of you had separated.” I was shocked by that. My Bride has always had a wonderful relationship with her parents.

I was floored by the next thing FIL said. “She has completely shut us put of her life over the past three weeks.”


“She won’t talk to us. She had Sister2 text us that she’s going to walk the stage (grad school graduation) but doesn’t want us to eat together or have any kind of get together. She just wants to graduate and go home.”

I knew the problem immediately. The thought of hanging with me and the family had become too much.

After our visit, I texted My Bride to tell her I would not be going to her graduation. I told her that she needs to have HER day worry free. “I REALLY WANT to be there, I just think it’d be less than healthy for you.”
I understand, I’m sorry.
“Don’t be. Enjoy your moment. Be with your family. LET them love you. They want so much to comfort you.”

She asked me to explain everything to the kids because she wouldn’t be able to without falling apart.

Will do.

We talked about The Holy Spirit leading us through everything. FIL said, “The Holy Spirit does NOT want the two of you to divorce. But it takes two to make it go.”

I am seriously concerned about something.

She said she loves me but cannot give me what I need. I told her she can’t give me what I need…yet.

I truly fear that she is spending this month trying to put me out of her life so ending things later will be easier.

FIL said “She sees you working on things and she knows, especially because of her training, that you working will require her to work on things. She’s scared of that and I think she’s afraid of where the work could take her. If she will allow The Holy Spirit to guide her, she can easily do what she needs to.”

It seems that everyone continues to be on point. We’re both terrified of our needed changes. I’m scared to death about all I have to do. She’s scared of the changes she needs to make AND she needs to see my changes are authentic and permanent.

Challenge accepted, bitches. I’m going to work. This work never ends either.

Let’s get this!
Baby Doll…I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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