Craving, Recovery And Warfare


**Porn Addiction sucks**

There are delightful shitty cravings that take over your entire mental state.

Your day has been joyful, productive and downright satisfying?
Hahaha! Yeah, you’re spending the next 48 hours struggling with insane cravings. in my case, resisting my cravings manifests itself emotionally and physically.

• Shakes
• Cold Sweats
• Depression
• Mania
• Headaches
• Stomach Aches
• Obsessive Thoughts
• Hair Pulling

So in the midst of all of this, I find myself searching for an answer. Why is it that the reawakening of my relationship with God is accompanied by incredibly powerful cravings?

My Sister believes I’m encountering severe spiritual warfare. “You’re attempting to serve God and your wife. You’re trying to expel all of the negativity from your life. You’re trying to embrace the reality of your worth. It’s no wonder Satan is trying to destroy you. You’re actually trying to flee his influence.”

Prayer increases tonight.
God is removing the crap from my life.
Satan will do anything to keep me from freedom.

To quote that Stryper song, To hell with the devil.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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4 Responses to Craving, Recovery And Warfare

  1. GP says:

    Acting out soothes fear. Increasing vulnerability increases fear, which increases the craving for safety, so it makes sense to me that your deepening relationships with God and your wife would bring on a massive increase in addictive cravings – cravings for safety.

    I hope you are able to do something healthy to help yourself feel safe.

    • MyJourney says:

      That’s pretty sensible. Only I don’t think my relationship with My Bride is deepening. I fear it to be shallowing. That brings other fears I shall not voice.

      • GP says:

        My first sponsor used to say (over and over) that “Feelings are not facts.”

        Give those fears to God. He can hold them until you are ready.

      • MyJourney says:

        And your sponsor was correct. THAT is incredibly difficult to keep track of in the moment.

        Thank you, your advice is quite wise.

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