The Nightmare

Have you been messing around with other guys?
Come on.
Have you?

What did you do with them?
I don’t want to talk about it
Really, I told you everything. I gave you every detail you wanted.
It’s none of your business.
What!? You’ve been denying this for months and I just found out you’ve been fucking around on me. I have every damn right to know!
Leave me alone! Don’t you know how much this hurts!?
Tell me what you’ve been doing with him!
I deserve to know!

and then she tells me…
It’s the standard porn scene. Every act you’re expecting and 1 or 2 unexpected things too.

When she told of all the things she let him do to her is when I woke up screaming after she said that. I can’t believe anyone is still sleeping.

It was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had. Very vivid. I saw faces, heard voices. There were definite sounds and smells.

I woke up screaming. I’ve NEVER done that in my life. Ever.

My nightmare was so thorough, it hit me on every level of pain possible. I woke up about 15 minutes ago. My heart is still pounding. I’m still shaking.

I’m pretty sure My Bride will be pissed off when she reads this. I KNOW she didn’t do anything. She’s not that kind of person. She’s a good woman full of honor, peace and love. Even when I don’t deserve it I know she loves me and would never intentionally hurt me.

I PRAY healing comes. I’m actually beginning to crack up and I don’t mean laughing.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in Depression, emotion, Marriage Issues and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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