What Logic?

Everything went to hell at the same time. I took a nose-dive into depression. My marriage went to shit. I stopped talking to God.

They all happened when I stopped working my program.

Coincidence?
Not a damn chance.

I’ve been told by several people that the best thing I can do for her is to work my program. Place your marriage below your recovery and it WILL work out.

I have a very hard time accepting that.

I fucked my marriage up. How could I, in good consciousness, neglect my marriage and focus on me? My selfishness is what brought is to this point. So I fix it by being selfish?

I fail to see the logic.

My Bride
My therapist
Our marriage therapist
My support group
My blog comments
They all tell me to work my program and forget about my marriage.

Do they not realize that my marriage is the single most important thing in my life? It’s the only place I have ever felt safe. If I’m scared I go to my wife. If I am nervous I go to her. If I am upset, angry, fed up…I always go to my wife. Now I’m supposed to discontinue that? I’m supposed to take those things to my brothers?

I guess I just need someone to explain it to me. I am capable of having an open mind. I just need to see some sort of logic and I can understand and follow. Without it, there’s no way for me to do it.

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About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in emotion, Marriage Issues, Progress, Recovery, Sex, Sex Addiction and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to What Logic?

  1. chinaskie says:

    I don’t think you should forget your marriage at all. I think it would be a good idea to reconsider how you prioritize the amount of attention you pay to what’s going on around you. For example: It’s very easy to avoid exploring your own deeper issues when you are steadily taking your Bride’s inventory every time you feel hurt or get angry.
    I think a happier, more stable marriage is a wonderful kind of “finish line” that you and your Bride get to cross together when each of you have done the individual work and the couples work. You probably need to start at #1- you.

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