Heeeeeey….it’s your old buddy, Bi-Polar Guy. My Bride and I had a really nice text chat this afternoon.
Here’s the breakdown:
I hate what’s going on.
How can we help each other?
I don’t know.
Divorce would kill me. I want nothing to do with it, I love you and need you too much.
I don’t want a divorce either.
What do we do?
I don’t know.
A lot was accomplished right there.
Actually, there was quite a freaking lot accomplished. We realized divorce is off of the table. Neither of us wants it. I’m not supposed to even talk about it if I go by what our original counseling said.
The D word is off the table and banned from discussion. My Bride is right, it’s the easy, chicken-shit way out.
She mentioned that if she thought separation would work she’d be ok with trying it. I made the executive decision to give her the weekend alone. I’ll go off and stay with my parents and she can have a weekend without her husband bitching at her.
We decided it was a good idea and I set it up.
I immediately went to my counseling session. The Good Doctor recommends that we NOT stay apart this weekend unless it’s what we BOTH want.
I don’t want to be away. She might be looking forward to it now, but I can’t stand the thought.
Here are his recommendations:
• Go to my damn meetings.
• Work the steps.
• Spiritually connect, I’ve let it slide.
• Remember we love each other.
One of the most important things I heard him say was that if I will go to my meetings and get the things I need from them, get a sponsor and develop that relationship and work the steps, I will begin meeting the needs of My Bride. By meeting her needs, she will soon meet mine.
In other words- do what you’re supposed to do.
When in doubt, RTFM