What 5 Words

I was just reading one of the blogs I frequent, Intimacy In Marriage, and came across a very interesting post.

5 words to describe your sex life?
My 5
Absent, rejected, unimportant, needed, desperate

Some of the responses were beautiful

Then there were answers closer to mine


Sexual intimacy in marriage can go 2 ways: Ignored or Embraced

Here’s a really interesting rip-off from that blog.

PROs of Nurturing Sexual Intimacy in My Marriage:
• Feels good
• One of the best ways to worship God, obey God and agree with Him that His design of marriage and sex are holy.
• Fabulous stress reliever (marriage seems to have plenty of stress… how encouraging to know sex is indeed one of the ways we can relieve it!)
• Orgasm. Orgasm. Orgasm. Enough said.
• Helps us extend grace to each other. •Sex softens us in a way that makes the rest of doing life together more enjoyable and more bearable.
• Good for us physically. A little aerobics. Fair amount of stretching. •Good healthy cardiovascular work-out.
•Wonderful way to affirm each other and to show love.
• Tremendous example to our kids. Though they do not see us having sex, they see us being affectionate to each other and know that our marriage is a healthy foundation to our home and family.
• Cheap entertainment. Simply one of the best ways to have a lot of fun.
• Strengthens our emotional, physical and spiritual connection. That one flesh thing is awesome on so many levels.
• Equips us to better walk in other areas of our life as witnesses for Christ in action and word.
• Keeps temptation at bay.
• Reminds Satan to keep his hands off our marriage.

CONS of Not Nurturing Sexual Intimacy in My Marriage:
(Since we do nurture our sexual intimacy, the below is what I imagine would be the detrimental outcomes if we stopped).
•Increased stress.
•Disobedience to the Lord, which would then have consequences, as all sin does.
•Roommate status with the one person who I vowed would always be my partner, lover and spouse — not my roommate.
•Horrendous example for our kids. What message would we be sending them about the sacredness of marriage and of sex?
•Weakens our witness as believers in Christ. If we are careless with sexual intimacy in the ministry of our own marriage, we would not be as effective as we could be in other areas as well.
•Emotional, physical and spiritual distance.
•Too many bad moods to even count.
•No opportunity to give and receive orgasm with the person I love.
•Increased likelihood of temptation (emotional and physical adultery, pornography use and addiction).
•Invites Satan to capitalize on weak areas of our marriage.

The Intimacy blog ends by asking us to answer these 2 questions:
• Is sex drawing us closer together?
• Is lack of sex driving us further apart?

I think those are really good points and some serious things to ponder.

I do not post this in hopes of making love with My Bride soon. I can hear that being thought by someone out there 😉
Posted for 2 reasons:
1. I find it an instructive way to think of sexual intimacy in marriage.
2. This is a great reminder on why sex in marriage is important.

I have no idea if My Bride will be able to force herself to be with me in the near future. Since she speaks in terms of, “I just can’t make myself do it,” I think I have the correct description of what she goes through. She has to make herself have sex with me.

That doesn’t do much for the ego if you were asking.

I’m a guy with what could only be described as low self-esteem. I don’t think too highly of myself and I generally don’t think I deserve very many good things to happen to me. I have, just a few days ago, called myself a failure and a loser to My Bride.

There’s a point to that paragraph…

I have decided that my experience, my story, my life are to be used as a warning to anyone that stumbled across this blog. Look at what a life of selfishness can bring you. Look at what it looks like to have been consumed by pornography and self-gratification. Look at how it has destroyed My Bride’s physical desires.


Your marriage is far too precious to ruin it with pornography. Your wife is too good of a woman to be hurt by your wandering eyes. Your children are too precious for you to bring the spirit of evil into your home. Your family deserves better. YOU deserve better.

With God, all things are possible. We had a miracle in our lives yesterday. I’m believing our marriage will see a miracle as well. But I am weak. I do not have the faith that I think is needed. I believe God wants to bless us. I believe God wants to use us.

I know that I need help and I know it can’t come from man.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
This entry was posted in emotion, Marriage Issues, Progress, Recovery, Sex, Sex Addiction and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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