No She Doesn’t

Sobriety Day 62

It Starts
She’s on the bed, a couch, maybe a shower, it could be a car and sometimes it’s a boat.
She’s on her knees.
Wait…
No, she’s on the stairs.
Oops, she’s in a hot tub.
No, no, she’s sitting on a hot-rod

Now She…
She looks at him.
He says something a 13 year-old boy would think of.
She loved it! So she snuggles up to him and hits him with a fierce kiss. She immediately begins to undress him. She is unable to control herself.

Here It Goes
The two engage in feats of physical entanglement that can scarcely even be imagined. Normal men fall faaaaar short of this guy. Normal women cannot compete with her. Camera angles, make up, drugs, music and video editing creates an experience no human can duplicate.

Fantasy?
Yeah.
I saw it as a fantasy.
What could be if only she cared enough about me.
If only she would give into my desires.
Submission would lead to our ultimate pleasure. Couldn’t she see that?

One of the major lessons that I have learned during my journey in porn-addiction recovery is that pornography is not real. That likely sounds very stupid. Of course it isn’t real. NOBODY thinks it’s real. The pizza guy never gets blown by some super hot chick because she’s super-horny and he just happens to be there.

While the absurd situations are unbelievable, even by those teenage boys, the actions are what really count. The positions. The acts. The things they say. Slapping the asses. The finishing moves.

They Love It
Every woman enjoys shoving a 10 inch schlong down her throat. Gag? Bullshit. No woman gags on that. Every woman LOVES it when her man jams his dong up her butt with no warning and no lube. They love that. Women love it when you ejaculate on them. ALL women love it when a guy slaps their ass and calls them bitch as they get it on.

Come to find out…No they don’t.
There might be some woman who likes all or some of that. Maybe. There are women that will do some of those to please their man. My Bride did a few of those things.

I THOUGHT SHE LIKED IT
Seriously, I thought she liked it.
She would do those things. I’d make a crack about how I knew she loved it.
“Yeah…I love it.”

I really thought she liked it and was just being coy about it.

Nope

Those women in the movies…they’re somebody’s daughter. At one time she used to dress up in pretty dresses, dance around, sing songs, color pictures, plan their wedding in 3rd grade and (hopefully) be loved on by their family.

Now they’re being abused. They are seen as sex objects. Guys see them and become instantly turned on. They paint themselves with makeup, take whatever drug they need to numb themselves and desecrate their bodies so some guy can beat-off.

Some people use porn as a marital aide
Bullshit.
Porn is made for guys to beat-off to. Sure, women that get caught up in it too. Hell, My Bride saw two chicks making out and SHE was turned on. “I can see how you can get caught up in that.”

Porn is NOT designed to help your marriage. It will only cause death to your relationships.

My addiction to pornography almost cost me my marriage. It almost cost my life. The deep depression I entered, because of my addiction (using, lying, hiding) and My Bride’s discovery of my secret life, drove me to multiple suicide attempts.

Lust is not worth the hell it brings.

Love God, love your family, love your spouse. Choose them over lust.
Your family is worth it.
Your God is worth it.
Your friends are worth it.
Your life is worth it.

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About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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2 Responses to No She Doesn’t

  1. Great post. It has helped me stave off the temptations a little longer.

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