She Told Me All Along

Sobriety Day 56

I forgot to address that in my previous post.

My Bride and I have had a few loving encounters recently. Yes, I mean in a Biblical sense.

It’s funny that the past 2 sessions of sharing our bodies have been quite unintentional. Last weekend we laid down for a nap. She rubbed my chest, and next thing you know, we were naked. Today I was rubbing her back (totally NOT looking for action- she had a headache) and the next thing I know I’m getting a handy. In both cases we each had our jollies, which is not unusual, the way it happened was new. New after more than 21 years of marriage.

I’m beginning to see, more and more, what a great God we serve. To take our 2 shattered lives, and in just 6 months take us to heights never before known in our marriage, is nothing short of miraculous.

We are not special. We have ENORMOUS issues in our marriage. But 6 months ago I thought we were doomed. Even My Bride, the eternal optimist, thought we had little hope. It appears we are stronger than ever.

2-3 weeks ago I asked My Bride for a list of 10 things I could do to make her feel loved. She didn’t want to do it. She said that she was afraid of what my reaction would be.

Generally it would be along the lines of:


It could also have been:

During the more than week-long fight that led up to it, those WOULD HAVE BEEN MY REACTION (apologies for the caps lock). When our fight ended, I again asked for the list. “Ok, but it’s nothing new. You’re not going to like it.”

It wasn’t new. All 10 items had been given to me in one way or another many times. She didn’t get the expected reaction. I read it, saved it in a very private folder, and pondered it for a few days. MANY tears were involved.

I have many times said that I am willing to do anything it takes to build our marriage. She had told me all along. Hopefully I’m hitting the mark.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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