A Beautiful Thing

Sobriety Day 10

I have to say, the past 10 days have been amazing. Now, I don’t like to use the word amazing too much; it’s incredibly overused and generally incorrectly. This past 10 days, however, meets the definition perfectly.

Days 1 and 2
These days coincide with my new sobriety date, December 27. My Bride and I seem to have reached a new understanding. I am what I am, she be her and our marriage is building. I believe it was December 27 when we crossed into this new territory.

Days 3-5
Another big step was taken. We began our evening devotionals again. I began praying for our children, My Bride, me and our marriage. We began, what I think is, a spiritual journey. Sometimes, like any relationship, you don’t want to put in effort. We drift between that point and true devotion in our spiritual renewal birth.

Days 5-6
We ended our year with My Bride forgiving me. Yes, I cried. Our year began (in the morning- we’re wimps) with hugs and kisses. HUGS AND KISSES! I was in heaven. I had been desperate for affection and intimacy. This was a huuuuuuge step for us.

Days 7-8
More affection. The affection was trending warm. My mind raced, I was thinking to myself that I wanted to make her feel wanted, loved and special. I calmed myself down, chilled out and played it cool. I didn’t do anything stupid like grab her boobs. I feel that I kept things under solid control. I made myself proud.

Day 9
I awoke to her snuggling me. She kissed my neck and commenced ear nibbling. This was tremendous. I flipped over and we started to make out!! After a few moments of this new activity, she began trying to go over our plans for the day. She was able to get out, maybe, 2 sentences. I grabbed her firmly and kissed her. Hard. It became what can only be described as hot.

Not a month ago she had told me of her distaste for the French Kiss. She had said it was weird. That apparently doesn’t apt anymore.

We totally killed our abstinence. We talked about it for about 3 seconds and blew it off. This was the right thing to do. She wanted it. I wanted it. We wanted it. We did it. We made love!! It was beautiful. It was affection, love, oneness and intimacy at the same time. And it was hot.

Day 10
This is today. We exchanged loving texts. We went to the gym. We texted more (she had to run to her school for a bit). When she got home we kissed.

All of our kisses have been everything I could dream of. We looked into each other’s eyes, we hugged, we shared affection. We were intimate.

I have started to not only understand but to actually believe that our intimate activities are shared. Making love is about pleasing her, physically showing love and surrendering ourselves to each other. All intimate encounters are designed to show desire, devotion and love. It’s not about me feeling good and getting off. It’s for US to be together.

It’s a beautiful thing.

About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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