SA Sucks

I do not like SA. I think the meetings are stupid. I have ALWAYS thought the meetings are stupid.

Let me explain…

SA meetings begin with introductions. Hi, I’m Bubba and I’m a sexaholic.
Hi, Bubba.
we then progress to “The Readings.” We take turns reading out of the SA White Book. When the person has completed his reading, he is free to talk about what it meant or how it spoke to him. Then anyone can chime in. I’m Bubba, a sexaholic. That paragraph means…to me. and others can chime on as well. For a moment at least.

After the prescribed readings (20-30 minutes), the members go around the room “getting everyone current” since our last meeting. That part is…so-so. When “getting current” has finished, we get together, hold hands in a circle, say the Lord’s Prayer and finally close by chanting: Keep coming back it works of you work it and you’re worth it!

Here’s where the “Real” stuff begins. Fellowship after the meeting is where you can actually be real with the others present…of they stay and if they’re able to listen to you without freaking the hell out.

“You said something that might trigger me!!”

Why are meetings run like that?
What would be wrong with skipping the reading, that I can do by myself, and going straight to the fellowship part? The zealots don’t get to run things, in my opinion.

If this program actually works, fine. I still don’t see the point of spending all that time forcing our way through the procedures. Cut to the damned chase!!

I’m happy to speak with these guys after the meeting. It’s nice to hear the issues of others. It’s nice to be able to talk directly to each other. That behavior is STRICTLY VERBOTEN during the meeting. There is no, “dude, I understand exactly what you’re going through” in these meetings. You have to wait an hour, or more, to actually converse with another human.

I got in trouble after the last meeting I went to. My sponsor chimed in with something or another. When he finished, I took a turn and addressed what he had mentioned. The next day, when I called him, I received a stern, but polite, ass chewing.

Do not address what somebody says during the meeting.
Now, if her were to say, ‘you need to keep opinions to yourself,’ I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.

That’s not how it went down. Keep your thoughts, about someone else’s comments, to yourself.

SA has more than a few sharp dudes at these meetings. Is it not possible that old Bill next to me might have a nugget of wisdom that could help me out? Maybe even all of us?

Boundaries, man.
Yeah, yeah. I get that as well.
EVERYTHING I read and listen to says we have to be open and honest. I guess that means everywhere BUT SA meetings.

I’ll be in session with the Good Doctor on Wednesday. One of the first things I shall discuss is the huge possibility that I’ll be leaving SA in favor of these church support groups. Is that good enough?

I really hope so. SA is seriously on my nerves.

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About MyJourney

I'm a 41 year old married father of 3. I am a sex addict. This blog is to document my progress, recovery and marital growth. Pornography is an evil creation. Let my experiences serve as a warning to all.
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6 Responses to SA Sucks

  1. sarecover says:

    I’m a fan of SAA. I little less militant.

  2. chipgruver says:

    I think it depends on where you’re at. You bring a lot of resources to the table that many guys lack. You are a clear and direct communicator. What those meetings are trying to elicit is honesty from guys who may never had communicated well and have never been honest. It is a reaal challenge to get those guys to talk. So a REALLY safe place where the conversation is even controlled might be what they need.

    That said, I’m with you. The people who have helped me the most were the ones who would challenge me thoughtfully and when my group reads stuff, I settle in for some boredom. I’ve read plenty. I need to be sharpened by other guys.

    I’m curious what the Good Doctor will say (It makes me chuckle that you call him that).

    -Chip

    • It’s very descriptive of him. He’s a good guy and has his doctorate in divinity. He is a retired pastor who decided to get his counseling education/certificates. ANNNND he’s a recovering sex addict as well. He’s the perfect match for me!!

      As for the rest…
      I’m at my best when I’m allowed to vent and the person listening tells me where I’m wrong. I seriously like to be challenged. I like to be forced into defending my thought process. Many times, through debate, I see the error of my argument. I will flip sides immediately. THAT can aggravate my bride to no end.

      I think this…
      “Here’s where you’re wrong.”
      Bullcrap. Listen to this…
      “Maybe, but what about this?”
      Yep, you’re right.
      “What!”
      You’re right. Wanna go get dinner?

      That leaves her very confused. BUT, that’s one of the things that makes me so darn charming.

  3. Pingback: Shit Up And Do It | My Journey In Sexual Addiction And Recovery

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