“And when it came to the marriage bed many of us discovered it was the last refuge of lust and that here too surrender was the only way.
-Sexaholics Anonymous pg. 80
That’s quite a sentence. And it rolls incredibly well into my previous post.
Whenever she initiates sex we are one. It is, at least for me, an emotional AND mental connection. We make love.
Conversely, when I initiate sex it tends to be sex. There probably is an enormous amount of lust there. It isn’t always a connecting experience. At least not like it is when we make love.
I understand that I must rid myself of lust. But is it lust to want relations a with your wife? I don’t think that sex always had to be sweet and emotional. There are times when it seems appropriate to just get down with it and do crazy stuff together.
Is that lust?
I sure as hell don’t know.
I do know that it’s not healthy for me to seek sex as a escape from life. THAT’S the biggest of my symptoms (problem being something entirely different).
I do know that I must be exceedingly cautious when “taking care of business” by myself. What’s the motivation? Is it escape or straight up releasing sexual tension when she’s not willing? That’s the key there.
But when is it lust in the bedroom?
Do I only have sex when she initiates?